So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
