what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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