im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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