WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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