I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
