just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
