Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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