Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
