He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
