You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
