and she was petting her beer can
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
