6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
