i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
