Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
too bad you live with your parents still
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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