I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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