We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
