I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
