when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
