Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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