I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
