Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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