Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
