thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
