So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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