But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
