And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
