Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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