I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How external is "for external use only"?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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