So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
