wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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