I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
