he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
