Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
