My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
