Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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