...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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