you have to choose: penises or morals?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
