Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
