We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
