i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
