weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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