You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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