And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
