Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
