I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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