So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
two words...techno handjob
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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