my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's shark week go big or go home
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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