I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
NoShamevember. You game?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
