I love having hate sex.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
