so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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